Peacock with a fiery tail

Here’s another playful idea which generates interesting images and allows some

experimenting with rhyme if you wish. I was reminded of it during my return to Sandy

Brownjohn’s books.

You may already know this rhyme:

I saw a Peacock with a fiery tail,
I saw a blazing Comet drop down hail,
I saw a Cloud with ivy circled round,
I saw a sturdy Oak creep on the ground,
I saw a Pismire swallow up a whale,
I saw a raging Sea brim full of ale,
I saw a Venice Glass sixteen foot deep,
I saw a Well full of men’s tears that weep.
I saw their Eyes all in a flame of fire,
I saw a House as big as the moon and higher,
I saw the Sun even in the midst of night,
I saw the Man that saw this wondrous sight.

(a pismire is an ant)

The trick of this verse is intriguing and fun to play with, once you know how it works.

If you re-arrange the lines slightly, this is what you get:

I saw a Peacock.

With a fiery tail I saw a Comet.

Drop down hail I saw a Cloud.

So now you can see how to create a similar verse yourself.

Begin by writing a line that makes sense:

I saw the moon white as milk.

Write the first half of the sentence on the second line of your page. And the second half on the

right hand side of the first line:

                                        white as milk,

I saw the moon

Now you are ready to go:

                                        white as milk

I saw the moon fly away

I saw a blackbird refuse to stay

I saw an old man left unread

I saw a book on a rumpled bed

And so on.  Don’t forget to fill in the first line ‘I saw a face white as milk ….’

Sandy Brownjohn includes an example where the young writer has used hearing instead of

sight and I think it works really well. It gives rise to interesting ways of describing sounds.

I heard the gushing of an opening gate,

I heard the squeak of breaking glass,

I heard the crash of a working clock,

I heard the tick of the ocean waves,

…and so on.